I want my friends who have abandoned me back... and I have been (up to this point of revelation) unconsciously willing to do what I have sworn will never happen to get back into my old crowd. Now that I have identified the issue I can work to eliminate it. This explains my recent thoughts greatly. I need to stop caring and realize that if they were truly my friends, something as small and petty as a break up would not have separated them from me as efficiently as it has. Roxy has just about always hated me, Cedes and I mutually void each other while pretending to be friends, and I get the feeling that Jeremy and Dan have chosen to side with them rather than me... maybe because I have such a grating personality. Charles at least has kept ties with me. So fuck them... I should stop caring. But I know I wont, I never do. Hell i still think about Kirby Bray from Junior High and the group of kids that I hung out with then. hell i still think about Anthony and the Scott's from before I moved to Texas over 8 years ago. Ive said this a lot on here, but in person I pretend to not care because showing that I care gives others power over me. That is something I hate absolutely. So yea... now I just need to fix the problem, dont know how im gonna do it though... maybe just great mental effort. Though I am going to keep the promise I made to myself and God if its the only thing I do this year.
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Now playing: Train - Drops of Jupiter
via FoxyTunes
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